November 2nd

I have so much to be thankful for, although I confess I had a discouraged moment (or two) today. In the past two weeks Audrey had constricted down to a tiny opening again. Dr. Manfredi dilated her esophagus to just 8mm (where a month ago he was pushing 15). He is still sounding very positive about things and said it opened up really easily and he took out some more suture material in there that could have contributed to swelling. In my sinking heart though, I pretty much feel like we are caught in a vortex of endless dilations that is going to lead us to that horrible decision of whether or not to do more unwanted surgery, the fundoplication "stomach wrap" around her esophagus to prevent reflux against the stricture area. Why oh why can't this end? I want to go home with my kids and husband. They return to Utah in 7 days. This is going to be a week of ignoring reality and enjoying one another to the max, in spite of the fact that Justin is buried in work, and I mean, blizzard-like. Bless that man for watching the two year old while I took Audrey in at 5 this morning for her procedure. We're both pushing through this pretty hard, but the peaceful surroundings here in Westport and the joy of being together make it all worth it.