That Moment When

Today started out pretty rough. I don't cry much any more, really not since the adventure started before Audrey was born; it's been so surreal and we've been so blessed through prayer that it's actually a pretty amazing experience in spite of all the crazy unbelievable stuff. But today DID put me in tears for a minute or two. The kids were MAJORLY squirrely during the first hour of church, and I kept hearing other people's kids in the chapel coughing these horrible bronchitis-like coughs. Suddenly I felt a crushing load of being overwhelmed, and extreme germophobia for Audrey-- since the anesthesiologists won't let the docs do their stuff if she gets sick, but we really needed that lift of going to church, but Justin had also forgotten Audrey's pink blankie (a recipe for misery come 11 am, right there) but we were about thirty minutes drive from home, and now the kids were messing around during the sacrament AGAIN. The stress balled up inside me to where, when we had a couple's pow wow outside the chapel after the first hour deciding whether to leave or to stay, I couldn't articulate an opinion, and it somehow turned into this big argument that sounded kind of like third graders yelling "FINE". He wanted to let me go to church while he stayed outside as a martyr, but I wanted to do the same thing for him (it's really quite ridiculous) because we both wanted to go but the babies were done and I was a total ball of nerves. Finally we agreed that he would go in to Sunday School with the older kids and I would stay out with the babies in the car and drive circles trying to get them to sleep, but then the tablet was turned up so loud that Audrey couldn't fall asleep with it blaring "SHIP... blaaaaaaah" and "TRAIN....choooooooo" and I couldn't find the volume button to turn it down and Gideon started to wail because I was taking too long looking for the volume button and he wanted it back, and Audrey started to wail because Gideon was wailing and she still didn't have her "buh", and at that moment I realized I really needed to pee. And there was no way I could leave both of them in the car to go do that without another adult to take over, nor could I take them both in at once because naturally both of them had torn off their socks and shoes and flung them every direction, plus Audrey was now reconnected to her feeding pump because her reflux was so bad last night we'd had to turn it off at midnight, so she'd gotten barely a third of her feed at night and needed to get it at every chance during the day, making it further impossible to grab both of them and run into the chapel to MAYBE find my husband and MAYBE not have them catch the plague in the process. I opened the door, gulped some air and walked (mostly) calmly into the chapel and waved down my husband, who gallantly came out and helped turn down the volume on the tablet. And let me bawl in his arms for a minute. And then sent me in to go pee alone. The man is my hero. After that, the day got better. I chilled out enough to enjoy meeting some people that are looking to move from MA to the neighborhood right behind our house, enjoyed some free food after church with the ward we're getting to know, helped clean up and laughed with the ladies, and then when we got home one of the sweet neighbors brought us some squash, and another neighbor brought us a beautiful blueberry pie. I finished out the day with my husband making me a delicious dinner while I messed around with the blog and tucked Eden in for an early bedtime, then read the boys "The MONSTER at the End of This Book" in full Grover voice and kissing them each twice before sternly saying for the tenth time "SLEEP NOW, I MEAN IT.  No Aaron, you are not going explode with energy. Implode instead and go to sleep." True story.