Most Complex Surgery Yet

She's done at last and in the ICU, but they're not ready for me to see her yet. I'm kind of in limbo. Not hungry but should go get food. The surgery was a success, but it was not nearly as easy as they'd hoped and although they did all they could, it looks like she's still in danger of fistulas forming in the future. There was a lot of scar tissue to remove, a bad segment of lung they had to remove, a partial resection of the esophagus to get rid of the part that formed the fistulas and a weird blister inside the esophagus, organs shifted around a bit to optimize breathing, airway was more narrow than they expected, so they did more tacking to the spine than expected. It's complicated, but in the end she has a wide open esophagus and wide open airways for now. Dr J seems to blame himself for not having done a good enough job 3.5 years ago, somehow having caused all this, which is ridiculous. Her anatomy is simply very tricky and does its own thing, and likes to heal in wonky ways. I am working on not worrying about how everything will heal given her history, but not succeeding very well at the moment. Please send prayers to help me let go of these things I can't control. I've been doing pretty well all day, and right now I just want to see her even though she won't look great and won't be awake for at least a day. Drs Jennings and Manfredi are a couple of amazing, tired guys.