Tenderness

Well, there's no doubt in my mind now that Audrey did indeed recognize my voice. When I came back from the common room last night after talking on the phone with Justin, the nurse and I talked for a few minutes and suddenly the nurse exclaimed, "she's awake!" Sure enough, fighting through the paralytic drugs Audrey opened her eyes and stared right at her, then at me. She locked eyes with me and tried to move, and when she couldn't, she trembled all over and a giant tear welled up in her eye, so I put my hand on her head and my face close to hers and explained to her that I knew she couldn't move and how scary that must feel, but that it was OK. I told her she would be able to move again soon, but right now she needed to rest to help her throat heal. The nurse gave a supplementary dose and within seconds Audrey calmed and fell asleep again while my lips and palm rested on the top of her head. It was a difficult but joyful moment, connecting with her like that and being there to comfort her. What a nightmare that would be, to wake up and realize that you can't move! In fact I'm sure I've had that nightmare before. The Versed medicine she's getting will help her memories of this be fuzzy later on, but selfishly I confess--I'm so happy I got to see her sweet eyes, and know that she knows I'm here.